


Pale for the Fail

by Hawkscape



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, It's a moirail confession, Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Karkat Needs a Hug, Karkat Swearing, Love Confessions, POV Kanaya Maryam, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Poor Karkat, Rants, Swearing, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 13:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1820038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkscape/pseuds/Hawkscape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya contemplates her pale feelings for Karkat and is giving an opportune opportunity to confess them when Karkat reflects on his friends all drifting away.</p><p> </p><p>Plot bunny/idea from 'sillyandquiteawkward'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pale for the Fail

You were walking through the dim halls of the meteor after a particularly successful book club meeting with the Rose human. It was nice to be able to help her understand the subtleties of Alternian literature while also learning more about human culture at the same time. The lack of lights underneath everyone's respite blocks seems to point to it being after the designated start of 'sleep time' and you decide perhaps you should go to your own block and try to sleep as some of your comrades were. 

You were on your way to executing this plan when you notice one door that appears to house a stirring adolescent due to the sliver of light peaking out from beneath it. You were about to leave the insomniac to their own devices and not give it a second thought, but you realize it is the door of your...friend Karkat. 

You said friend not because of any animosity towards him, but because it is the only way you may be be able to reconcile the increasingly pale feelings you have been having towards him since you all began this little escapade together. You felt protective about most of your meteor mates and you wouldn't want to think that this was moirallegiance when it is just your run of the mill mother grub behavior. You cared for him in a platonic way stronger then anyone else, but you don't want to say anything until you were sure. Oh, who were you kidding, you were completely smitten with the boy, but you were not that good with relationships. You either did nothing and lost your chance or came on to strong...onto everyone. Ugh. Maybe you should do something different for a change and just ignore his obvious distress and...no, no, he was probably just reading one of his romance novels. You were almost completely past the door when it surprisingly opened behind you with a click. 

“Kanaya?” Came a voice from behind you. It sounded odd, and you didn't understand why until you turned around and saw Karkat's eyes, bloodshot with dark circles around them. This seemed to be a rather intense intense romance novel and you couldn't keep your blood pusher from twinging slightly at the sight. You were taken aback slightly, but mange to stutter out a replay. 

“Y-yes, Karkat?” You regained your composer slightly and turned more fully towards him. “Is Something Wrong?” Karkat kind of shook his head at this and looked you up and down before seeming to decide something and beginning to close his door. 

“No, 's cool, g'night” He rubbed his eyes and just before the door closed you reached out and kept it open. You give him a questioning, but caring look. He sighed and looks at you. “I'm fine, Kan.” After saying this he stops for a second and just kind of looks at nothing for a moment. This did not seem to be just the aftermath of a moving novel. He didn't call you 'Kan' often. 

“Karkat, Do You Need To...” It's not your place to be his moirail, you remind yourself. “Talk To Someone?” Did Karkat even have a moirail? You do not believe he was with Gamzee anymore and it seemed to be a sore subject for him, but he had been getting along quite well with Dave. “Do You Want Me To Get Dave?” You turn to look down the hall slightly to see if the bespectacled human would appear conveniently at that moment, but Karkat tugged at your sleeve lightly and you turned back slowly. 

“No Kan...aya, its fine, I'm just tired I guess.” You thought he was about to say goodnight again, but before he got that chance you were able to catch a peak into his respite block without really meaning to and you see papers and his couch turned over in disarray. Before you had the chance to think, you shoved Karkat out of the way and took a step into his living room. 

“Karkat! What Happened?” You stopped when you realized that this is really none of your business and turned around to face a red faced Karkat who was looking at the floor. “Did Something Happen?” You ask in a lower voice. Karkat continued looking at the floor for a moment before sighing deeply and speaking. 

“I just...I'm trying...” At this point you noticed splashes of red tears falling on the floor from his face that he was trying to ignore. “really hard...and I'm trying and...” Karkat was beginning to babble now and was trying to keep his voice level, but you could tell that the tears were splashing on the floor with more and more frequency. You wanted to offer him comfort, but you were not sure what to do exactly so you just stood there and listened. “and-and I-I'm all alone Kan.” His voice finally broke and he looked up at you before spreading his arms slightly. “Everyone's either insane, dead, or both!” He put his hands up and down a few times trying to figure out what to do with them before putting them down in defeat. “I just jus-t can't talk to anyone because like I-I already have the reputation of either being an unapproachable hard ass or a fucking cry baby and-and, like Gamzee is...I don't know what the fuck is going on with Gamzee right now, like, I know, I brought him down from his whole fu-fuging clown rage mode beast attack, but he's not the same Gamz I knew. I don't even know how to talk to Terezi anymore due to her being just about as fucked up as me at the moment and-d Nepeta's dead and Equius is dead and Eridan is fucking dead and I think I was one of the only people who didn't think he was a complete dick wad an-nd” You didn't say anything or shift your eyes. You can tell this has been building up for a while and you were not going to be the one to stop him. 

“and, like, Feferi's dead and Sollux is dead and he saw it fucking coming, and I still couldn't do anything about it and-nd I don't even know where the FUCK Aradia is right now. I don't really blame her. I mean, if I could just fucking fly away from this piece of shit game and go prance around in dream bubbles, I probably would to, heh.” He seemed to take a break before taking a deep breath and diving abck in. 

“and Tavros is, WHOA LOOK AT FUCKING THAT, dead again just for standing up for his fucking self and then the bitch who killed him, who was probably a better leader then me let's be honest, gets knifed in the back by her best friend because of some inevitable future seeing bullshit and and-and you just-you have your own shit going on with Rose and whatever problems she's having at the moment and Dave is my best mother fucking friend, but he doesn't understand any of this shit because no matter how much human doom timeline shit he mother fucking saw, he just...doesn't understand and...” 

He then let out a great sigh that seemed to let out all of the despair and frustration encased in his previous words. He then silently walked over to his overturned couch and turned it back right side up with a small grunt before he plopped down on it harshly. You walked over and closed the door before slowly walking over to the couch while trying to carefully avoid the papers and books scattered on the floor an siting down next to him. No sound was made by either of you excepting Karkat's quick breaths. You were not sure what to do. You were extremely distressed by this sudden outburst from your friend. Despite your usually calm outer exterior, your mind was often whirling with worries and ideas. This was one of those times. Your eyes flitted back and forth between Karkat and your hands in your lap. You finally acted on impulse and threw caution to the wind as you slowly reached out and stroked Karka'ts back. He tensed up for a moment and you stopped as well. Oh no, you overstepped your bounds. He was just looking for a shoulder to cry on not a full on relationship. Oh, if you could only control your need to meddle! You retracted you hand and begin to apologies. 

“My Apologies...If You Wish To Be Alone At The Moment Then...” You began to get up from the couch, but Karkat reached out to grab your arm. He grabbed it a bit hard but he was not trying to hurt you. He spoke out quietly. 

“Have you been fucking listing to anything I've been saying?” You were about to respond that you had been listening perhaps a bit TO hard, but he continued before you could. “I don't...want to be alone.” You understood what he was saying now and you sat back down with him still griping your wrist. He suddenly let go of your wrist and looked away from you. “I mean...if you want to stay. You were kind of dragged into this because you were just the only one there and...I cant even aim my distress at the right person because, fuck, apparently I'm so desperate I'll just rant to the first person who shows up and...” It's your turn to interrupt Karkat because you couldn't allow him to continue on this self torturing route any longer. 

You firmly grabbed his shoulder so that he looked at you. “Karkat, I Would Not Be Here Unless I Cared For You And Wished To Help You With Your Problems.” It was hard to keep your voice level while making this confession. Karkat blushed slightly and looked at his lap. 

“You sure?” He said to his lap. 

You grab him into a hug before he could have any more self doubt. He snuggled into your shoulder and let out a sigh. Even if this was only a one time thing for Karkat's time of turbulence, you suppose that's okay. If it's a solid moirailship beginning, then that's okay as well. You spend the rest of the night snuggled together and, as you help Karkat clean up his respite block the next day, you manage to work out that it's the latter.


End file.
